Relationship. That’s my word for the year. I need to focus on growing in my relationship with God and with others this year instead of focusing on myself and on so many tasks that are waiting to be done.  And I want my teens to remember the number one rule to build strong relationships:

The Number One Rule for Building Strong Relationships:

1. Treat others the way you want to be treated.

That’s the essence of the Golden Rule (Matthew 7:12). Not only is it important because Jesus commanded it, but following the Golden Rule is the number one way to build strong relationships as you learn to think about and empathize with others. As much a possible, put yourself in the other person’s shoes, then act according to his or her needs and feelings. 

During these last short years at home and the short time in the youth group, I want my teens to remember important truths from God’s word that will not only keep them close to Jesus, but also help them be wonderful people, full of strong Christian character. 

A few weeks ago I began sharing Thirty Things I Want My Teen to Remember. As I considered things I want to impress on their hearts, I thought of the Golden Rule. 

I am constantly saying to my children, “Think of others,” “how would you feel,” or what would you want if it were you?” I remind them to “treat others the way you want to be treated.”

Of course, sometimes they want to turn that around. They may say, “Well, if he is doing that to me, that must mean he wants me to do it to him!” It’s so hard to teach that you are responsible for your own actions and not that of your siblings! (See A Golden Rule Life for more about our motives in following the Golden Rule.)

Jesus said the greatest commandments are to love God with all that is in you, then to love your neighbor as yourself (Matthew 22:36-40).

This is really what the Golden Rule is all about—loving your neighbor as yourself.

The Golden Rule is the number one way to build and maintain strong relationship works in families, friendships, work places, marriage, business, church, and even casual relationships with those we come across often, such as the mailman, fast food worker, or librarian.

Being considerate of others’ needs and feelings and treating them how we would want to be treated can even turn enemies into friends and heal broken relationships.

I know the hardest place for my teens to practice this is at home. At home everyone lets their guard down and the real person, with all its selfishness and sin nature, shows. So, when I get frustrated with my own teens and at their lack of empathy and consideration of others at home, I have to remind myself that other adults usually brag on their behavior elsewhere. Still, I believe your character is who you are at home. Jesus calls us to be holy, not just accept sinful behavior as “normal.”

And, just like my teens, I often fail more at home as well. It’s much easier to be lazy and selfish than to put other’s needs and wants before my own. I fail so often! I pray God shows me when I am not treating other the way I would want to be treated.

For my teens, following the Golden Rule does mean sometimes people will take advantage of their kindness; but we are only responsible for our own actions and motives. We cannot control the actions of others. 

Now, treating others the way we want to be treated does not mean we become a doormat, giving in to every demand placed on us by both well-meaning and selfish people in our lives. Instead, it means we put ourselves in their place, assume they have the best of intentions, and consider how we would want to be treated in that situation. Then, when possible (though it is not always possible), act accordingly. 

Practice the Golden Rule.

Treat others the way you want to be treated. This one rule will help you build and keep strong relationships. 

It’s God’s rule, and our Heavenly Father certainly knows best how to love. Let’s “trust and obey.”

Father, 

It’s so much easier to hold on to my selfish desires and think mostly of my needs. Please forgive me for overlooking the needs of others so often. Help me to set an example for my teens and others in my life by the way I treat them. Thank you, Jesus, for the way you love me.

How has treating others the way you want to be treated made a a difference in your relationships

Let’s encourage one another to follow God’s word by following the number one rule to build strong relationships.

More in the ongoing series, “30 Things I Want My Teens to Remember”