My mind is struggling, today, dear friends. It has been for weeks. So, what do I do with the anxious thoughts racing through my mind?

Again, and again, I replay dramatic events. I think of the evil that has happened, the things I could/should have done differently, what I would say to someone who has hurt our family, the hard things still to come, the lies and manipulation, the horrible things those I love endured, the “good” memories that were fake, what little details might be important to remember later, what other people may know or think, how blind I have been, and on and on.

These thoughts loom like a dark cloud in my mind as I try to sleep, to homeschool my children, to spend time with my husband, to read my Bible, to worship my God. Going about normal daily tasks has often been a struggle.

The tears flow less often than at the beginning, and some days the thoughts are covered by busyness and even experiences of joy, but the heartache is ever present and my mind preoccupied. 

The events in our life are like a television drama. They are not the kinds of things we expect to experience in real life through someone we know, much less our own family. No one really knows the details—and I wouldn’t want them to.

Remember, God understands your thoughts.

Oh, but God knows. He sees. 

Whatever you may be struggling with, dear friend, whatever anxious thoughts are constantly racing through your mind – first, remember God knows.

“O Lord, you have searched me and known me! You know when I lie down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar.” Psalm 139:1-2

“Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts!” Psalm 139:23

God knows me and you intimately. He understands every concern, worry, and anxious thought that bombards our minds. He doesn’t just see and know, He cares and loves.

Find comfort in knowing that our Heavenly Father is concerned with all that is on your heart.

Turn your thoughts into prayers.

Replaying those anxious thoughts to myself over and over or having imaginary conversations in my head with others doesn’t really help me at all. Instead, I’m trying to learn to let God help me remember to turn those thoughts into prayers.

Rather than narrating what I would say to a friend or enemy, I begin talking to God, telling Him how I feel, and asking for His peace, comfort, healing, and intervention. I also ask for wisdom and the right words to speak if/when the time comes.

God hears your thoughts and knows how you feel already, but He wants the kind of intimate relationship with us where we share them openly with Him, trusting that He is listening and working even when we can’t feel it.

Like the Psalmist, we can share the highest of highs and the lowest of lows with our Creator. We can express anger, doubt, grief, sorrow and despair. God can handle it and remind us that He is still faithful.

(You an also pray through Scriptures to help you find peace.)

Share your thoughts.

Sometimes, I cannot stop the narrative in my head until I get it out.

Talking to my husband, mom, therapist, or a trusted friend can help. Although we know God is listening, we often really want a flesh and bones representation to touch, hold, hug, and see. 

It’s okay to be vulnerable and authentic, to admit you are struggling, to quit saying, “I’m fine.” Many times we assume others don’t care, but really they  just don’t know.

We’ve all been there.

Write out your thoughts.

Sometime I keep repeating the same thoughts because  . . .

Maybe I’m afraid I’ll forget. 

Maybe this detail is important. 

Maybe I should tell so and so 1, 2, & 3. 

Maybe I question my memory or feelings.

When that happens, get those thoughts out of of your head and onto paper (or a screen, if your handwriting is like mine!) 

I have a whole book in my head. My thoughts are often a narration of the events in a way I would write them, so why not write them? It’s okay if no one will ever read what I have written. Putting my thoughts into words that make sense helps me process things.

You can simply journal feelings, write out whole pages of details, write letters you may or may not ever send,  jot down short sentences, or whatever works best for you.

I think someday I will write a whole book on this chapter of my life. I’ll include the hard details, the painful memories, and the actual names. Then, I’ll go back and edit out things I would never want to share with the world, use pseudonyms, and soften some of the harsh details. 

I’ve just realized I haven’t even been trying to do that. Sometimes the thoughts just come, but often, I lay down at night and intentionally rehearse the narrative in my mind—again.

When you’ve taken time to pray and process, but the thoughts continuously interrupt your peace, stop and intentionally take those thoughts captive to make them obedient to Christ.

Do you repeat thoughts like these?

I’ll never get through this.

I’m too broken for God to use.

Healing is impossible.

God isn’t listening or doesn’t care.

How can I face _______ (family, church, friends, co-workers) again?

These can become strongholds of the enemy in our minds. Part of spiritual warfare is using the weapon of God’s Word to refute the lies of the enemy. (See Silence Lies with the Truth of God’s Word.)

When my kids have nightmares, I always tell them to think of something good and fun instead of replaying their dreams. If I am going to stop the constant thoughts racing around my mind, I have to replace them with better thoughts. 

“Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.” Philippians 4:8

“Amen!” 

Or 

“Oh, me!”

Honestly? I have been thinking of the opposite of that list most of the time in recent weeks. I even forget to be thankful. Then God helps me remember all He has done and all of the good in my life.

I think of how God divinely intervened, and though I don’t understand why He didn’t act sooner, I am thankful. The evil affecting our family could have so easily been much worse. 

I think of my beautiful children, husband, mama, and siblings. They are not perfect, but they are all still with me, and God is faithfully working in their lives.

Right now, I am sitting outside by Prentiss Walker Lake. My wonderfully supportive and loving mama is walking around with her camera shooting birds. A gentle breeze is blowing. An occasional fish jumps. I see a turtle sticking its head out of the water just a few feet past the bank. The sun and clouds are lovely. The air is pure. The beauty around me is excellent and praiseworthy because of Who made it and because He is letting me enjoy it right now.

Oh, Father, help me remember to think on such things!

I love Tolkien’s wisdom in The Lord of the Rings. Recently, I read this quote:

“It’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were. And sometimes you didn’t want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened?”

The last sentence brought fresh tears. Really. How can things go back to normal? How can we move on when so many bad things happened? Will the good always be tainted by memories of evil that happened? Is it even right to put those things out of our minds?

But then I kept reading:

“But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn’t. They kept going, because they were holding on to something.

 

 

That there is some good in this world, and it’s worth fighting for.”

– SAMWISE GAMGEE, THE LORD OF THE RINGS

Yes, this shadow will pass.

There is good in the world because GOD IS GOOD.

Instead of letting the anxious thoughts continue racing through my mind, I must learn from my mistakes, repent from my part, and let go of the shame, bitterness, and pain.

No, it’s not immediate.

It’s a process. A long process.

My thoughts will relapse over the next days, weeks, months and years.

But now that God has reminded me He knows my thoughts, sharing and writing them can help, I must take every thought captive, and I can replace the painful thoughts with what is good, I WILL  begin.

Will you?

I may not succeed often at first. But God is the great physician.  

He WILL heal my mind and heart. 

He WILL heal the hearts and minds of my family. 

I can trust He is working even on the hardest days when my thoughts return to dark places. 

So can YOU.

I have no idea what kind of trials you are facing or the anxious thoughts that are racing through your mind. Maybe your situation is far worse than mine. Maybe it is “just” a part of “normal” life in a fallen world that has sin and pain and death.

Don’t minimize your hard thing because someone else may have it worse. Your hard IS hard. Your pain and grief is real.

Remember, God knows and understands, share your thoughts and write them out, strive to take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ, and work on gradually replacing despairing thoughts with what is good. 

Oh, Father, our world is so hard, so fallen. Thank you that you know our hearts and our thoughts. You are mindful that we are but dust. Remind us Who You are. Forgive us for our lack of trust. Fill our thoughts with Your goodness. Draw our thoughts towards You. Cause us to remember those things that are excellent and praiseworthy. 

What helps when your anxious thoughts are racing in your mind? Scroll down and share in the comments. God could use your words help someone else!

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