Home. It’s supposed to be the best, most comfortable place to be, but it is also the hardest place to live out our faith. It’s easy to talk about having the fruit of the Spirit, and not too hard to show it in public most of the time; however, our habits at home are often anything but fruitful

Last week I wrote about what our well known habits say about our hearts. When others think of me and you, would they say we are always smiling or always complaining? Always loving or always criticizing? Always positive or always negative? 

As I consider my always the Holy Spirit prompted me to seriously consider my habits in the home. 

The always from the people who know and love us the most is the most important. 

Our family—

Our spouse.

Our children.

Our siblings

Our parents.

They will be the ones at our funerals desiring to say only good things about us. 

But what would they say now.

How would my closest loved ones finish the statement, “She’s always . . .”

Often, I’m afraid how my children would answer that about me. 

“Mom’s always _______.”

Sometimes I think it might be always fussing, or always angry. They might say she’s always on her phone or always busy. 

But how would I want them to answer? How do I want them to describe me now, or one day when I’m gone?

She’s always loving.

Always smiling.

Always encouraging. 

Always patient. 

Always making time for me.

Always pointing people to Jesus.

(I noticed as wrote, that “always kept a neat house” didn’t even make it on the list, although the clutter in our house is one thing that gives me a lot of stress right now!)

The “real” you is who you are at home.

It’s easy to fool others, but your family knows the real you. Your real character is not just who you are when no one is watching, but who you are at home with those you love most. 

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.” Galatians 5:22-23 NKJV

Our homes need the fruit of the Spirit more than anywhere else. When we allow the Holy Spirit to grow the fruit of the Spirit in us, especially at home, then we can strive to be like the always we want our families to see and remember.

And although we know any always is an exaggeration (no one is always smiling, always patient, or always available), we want it be often enough to seem like always when they think of us.

When I spend time with my family, I want them to remember me as a mom who always loves and always points them to Jesus. 

But how do I get there? I must spend time creating lifelong memories in everyday moments in a way that reflects the love of Christ. 

Here are a few habits in the home that can begin to transform our habits of the heart and make our always more pleasing to Christ and satisfying for ourselves. Likely, they are things we already know to do, but we need reminders so often!

Habits in the Home that Prep Our Hearts for Fruit

Love no matter what. 

It’s our family mantra: I will always love you, no matter what. Be sure your spouse and kids know your love is unconditional.

Forgive continually.

We all need to give and receive grace. Always forgive, then move on. Don’t hold grudges. Forgive yourself, too!

Apologize, apologize, apologize. 

As moms, we mess up too. We are not always loving or forgiving. Admit it and ask for forgiveness.

Respond slowly.

We are to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger (James 1:19). Often when we react immediately, we do not react in a loving or godly way. Take a deep breath, think, pray, then respond. (Or in more heated situations, walk out of the room, take time to calm down, then return to talk through the situation.) For more help see Using the Fruit of the Spirit to Tame Your Tongue from MississippiMom.

Pay attention.

Our kids and spouse need our undivided attention often. When someone is talking, stop. Look up from your phone, or the clothes basket, or whatever you are doing. Really listen.

Give time.

Plan everyday moments free from distraction to just be with those you love. Fifteen minutes to read a book, play a game, or take a walk can create those good memories so that it seems like we always had time for those we love most. (See Planning One-on-One Time with Your Kids.)

Such little things, but often so hard! I really want my habits at home to make my always something my kids look on with love and want to repeat in their own homes one day. I’m not there yet, but by the grace of God, let’s make imperfect progress together!

Dear Father, 

I so long to be the godly example you’ve called me to be and bear the fruit of the Spirit at home, but I fail so much. Please take my sins and mistakes and redeem them in a way that points my family to your grace and forgiveness. Let them see Jesus in me and help me to always show love and grace.

In Jesus name,

Amen.

Now, on to the hard work of letting God work in me and you to transform our always, especially at home!