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So, you’ve decide to homechool, but you’re tired of the incessant question about the “s” word. How will you children ever become properly social individuals without spending hours with other children their age? Never mind that you spend hours each week at church, playing sports, visiting the library, and normal living in the world. So you search for a local homeschool community where you and your kids can interact with non-relatives on a regular basis and have an answer for the skeptics. Maybe you find exactly what you are looking for on the first try, but maybe not.
A homeschool community can be a tremendous blessing to your family. We LOVE our local homeschool group. Unfortunately, I also know homeschool moms who have not had wonderful experiences and, therefore, choose to go at it alone. Like with homeschooling itself, a local homeschooling community, whether a support group or co-op, comes with both perks and pitfalls. I would love to share with you some perks that have enhanced our homeschool experience, as well as some ways we avoid the possible negative factors as well.
Enjoying the Perks of a Local Homeschool Community
Socialization:
Although when someone asks you about socialization, you probably hear Inigo Montoya say, “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means;” however, a homeschool community does give kids a chance to interact with people of all ages, abilities, and ethnic groups (ideally). Of course, certain age groups (especially teenagers) will naturally gravitate towards each others, but preschoolers through high-schoolers talk, play, and learn together in a homeschool community. Homeschoolers learn to enjoy spending time with others that are not born with a year or two themselves.
Friendships:
Kids quickly build friendships that extend beyond the group activities. They should have friends that go to both public and private schools, but they really have more common with other homeschoolers. They need friends who understand how they sometimes get tired of being with family all the time, yet are sometimes reluctant to be away from home for too long as well.
Co-ops:
Many homeschool communities offer some form of cooperative learning. Whether semester long formal classes taught by a parent, or short term learning activities and programs, kids enjoy a break from the norm of parent, video, or self-taught classes at home.
Field Trips:
I plan to add a whole post about field trips later in this series, but a few words for now: Field trips = Fun, and the more the merrier (and the bigger the group discount)! A homeschool community can plan field trips that are just not practical for a single family or two. Field trips bring both wonderful family experiences and hands-on learning for creating lifelong memories in everyday moments.
Support: Moms, the homeschool community is for YOU as much as it is for your kids. You NEED the friendship and understanding of like-minded parents who have also chosen to educate their children at home.Click To Tweet
Moms, the homeschool community is for YOU as much as it is for your kids. You NEED the friendship and understanding of like-minded parents who have also chosen to educate their children at home. No one understands the pleasure and frustrations like those who are in the trenches with you daily.
Homeschool moms can and need to be “real” with each other. Sometimes we hesitate to share our homeschooling struggles with our best friends and family because we are afraid they will think, “Well, this is what you asked for. ” Or they may respond, “Why don’t you just send them to school.” Even if friends and family are supportive, only other homeschooling moms can truly sympathize.
The friendships I have made in my local homeschool group are so valuable! We have seasoned moms I can ask for advice, new homeschool moms whom I can encourage, and all walks in-between. Some have large families, while others homeschool an only child. Some use a traditional accredited program while others lean more toward unschooling. All have a calling to be their children’s parent, primary educator, mentor, and discipler; and, that brings us together on common ground.
Avoid the Pitfalls of a Homeschool Community
An Incompatible Group:
Find your Tribe: You may fall in love with the first homeschool community you visit. I certainly hope so! Sometimes, that isn’t the case.
If you homeschool partly for religious reasons, a dominantly secular group may not be the best fit for you (and vice versa). Our group is Christian based, but all are welcome; however, all may not enjoy the conversation and activities as much as those who are like-minded.
If you are a multi-ethnic family have a child with special needs, you need a group that is welcoming to all people. (But don’t discount a group because they are predominately one race or mostly “typical” children. They may be glad to get to know others who are different and have more opportunities to teach their children to value differences.)
A fellow homeschool mom with adopted children from both African and Asia, including one child with Down’s Syndrome, found a coldness nearing prejudice in one homeschool group. She tried again and soon discovered another community that not only accepted differences, but celebrated adoption.
Don’t give up because of one negative experience. If you live in a rural area with only one local homeschool community, stick it out and be a catalyst for change- other families will be grateful. If the atmosphere is damaging to your kids, or no group is available in your area, start your own group. Even if it is small, there is power in community.
Give it time: Getting to know other people takes time. A group that at first seems standoffish, may become your best friends in time. Don’t give up on a community after the initial awkwardness of feeling like the outsider. Chances are, all the other moms were in your place at one time. Often, the perceived unfriendliness is because of a preoccupation with their own children or the activity/conversation at hand, rather than an intentional slight. (A reminder to those in a homeschool community: Go out of your way to make new families feel welcome.)
The Comparison Trap:
Don’t compare your family to the homeschool family of seven with matching outfits, home-made bread, and brilliant, well-behaved children. Believe me, they have their struggles as well.
Let your children be themselves and learn at their own pace. One of the advantages of homeschooling is an individualized education. It’s okay if your friend’s four year old is reading novels and playing the violin while yours is struggling to learn colors and letters.
Super Mom is a myth. No one has it all together all the time or even some of the time. Don’t let other moms, intentionally or unintentionally, make you feel inadequate. If you talk to that “perfect” homeschool mom, I guarantee she has her own insecurities and problems, despite appearances. And she will probably tell you so. Dare to be real with each other.
Overcommitment:
Sometimes I feel like our family must participate i everything our homeschool community offers. After all, when I take the time to plan an activity, I am very disappointed if there is a lack of participation. The smaller the group, the more this feeling can lead you to overcommit.
As much as possible, I plan ahead for field trips and activity days. One of the advantages of homeschool is a flexible schedule. Even play days at the park make rearranging our schedule worth the effort. Still, homeschooling does involve a certain amount of being at home. Choose the activities that are most beneficial for you and your kids; then, support other activities when possible, but don’t feel like you must do everything.
For our family, the thirty-minute drive for most activities is worth our time, but if we have more than one during a week, we often have to opt out. Now that I have some in high school, I must guard our time more than I would like.
A Homeschool Community is a wonderful asset for homeschooling families.
The perks of a local homeschool community far outweigh the potential pitfalls, most of which can be avoided or at least down-played. The built-in relationships and activities are an essential part of creating lifelong memories in everyday moments for our family. If you don’t belong to a homeschooling community already, go ahead and jump in! It may take some time and searching, but you will be glad you found your tribe!
What do you love about your homeschool community? How have you handled any challenges it brings? I’d love to hear from you in the comments.
More from the series, Enjoy the Perks, Avoid the Pitfalls of Homeschool Life: Homeschool Togetherness, A Flexible Schedule
